Still hanging on

Wow, it has been a really long time since I blogged anything here. So this means that I'm hoping that someone would read this. Not just anyone, but maybe someone I've been applying my secrets on. She might not know me now, but one day when I'm able to travel. Then and only then I could meet her. For all anyone knows, I've closed feelings just for that one girl. It may sound idiotic, but I just know that shes waiting for me. If your (her) is reading this, just know that I'm on my way. And I know your reading this, I can't explain how or why, but I just know it. So please wait for me.

it was fun while it lasted.... =(

hahaha i know now that i was never going to be with her, i found out that i was just hurting myself by thinking all of the possibilities that i can be with her and i never thought that i was already too late.sign. actually i knew that shes with another and 'IS' unavailable, but i was blinded by my feelings. after knowing shes unavailable, im suffer a deep pain. but not as deep as willing to kill myself la @@, cause i know i havent met the right one yet. until that day comes, im gonna try my best not to let go, even if it cost everything i got. i know now that everything happened for a certain reason. now im feeling so weak @@ damn it, gonna rest now. tata titi tutu ^^

would you?

would you let me look at you in the eye, even if it takes my breath away?
would you let me be near you and not thinking bout the past or future but the present?
would you let me think of you as you think of me as well?
would you let me hold your hands even if its just for a second?
as many question i wanted to ask you, i have made all the question into one,
the one question that could make our friendship either better or worst,
i hope that its for the better, and im asking you this question,
would you let me be the person to protect you and not going to let you get hurt?
would you let me be yours?

sometimes things arent what it seems and its the other way around ><

I've always thought that it was just temporary, you know the feeling, and day by day, little by little, the feeling I have towards her are washed away not till today, when shes giving me all kinds of sign that she still have feeling towards me. At first I thought it was a normal friendly pat on the back or friendly compliment, but when I think about it, it seems like shes telling me that she still have feelings toward me and wanted me to make a move or something. I never thought about this before but after a friend of mine keep annoying me and saying stuff, there I realise when I saw it in her eyes. I dont even know how but I can see it. I'm just gonna wait for the right moment to say something that might make repeat the SAME mistake with the SAME person, or something both of us gonna share together. Hopefully when that day come, its after my great examination. ><

screw with feelings.... i can live without them for awhile ><

salute to the readers its been awhile now since ive put sumting 2 write about in dis WatCyaCallIt ThingaMaJig ><. i realise dat dis past months ive tried hard juz 2 get wat i cant get and wen id almost had it i juz gave up, yeah ive given up on sum1 i think i hold dear >.>. i think im not d type 2 hav dis so called *relationship* thingy. it juz makes my life worst n as a result, a scar on d heart *my poor poor heart* psst cuz of dis, ive came up wit a solution dat might help me 2 avoid years of heartache n dat is 2 focus on sumting else*for a chance*. if i could juz do dis things.... i might b able 2 live without any emotional feelings and ill b living in a healthy n wealthy lifestyle alone *hopefully i wont live alone* i think ill find d rite 'her' sooner or later. she can b almost evry1 for all i knw, she can even b in d same school as i m. but who knows rite. only God knows and only time can tell us rite, but for dis 2 happen, i too must do my part n try 2 grasp dat very chance i have if i ever found d rite 'her', d rite girl....^^

unexpected and suprised....><

i always thought that i would never get to feel it.... the feeling that being next with someone and happy about it.... i would never thought that something amazing was right in front of me... im glad that i realise it ^^ i hope she realise it too....><

R U WILLING?

if u were 2 choose either 2 b wit sum1 u care about n protect them with everything u got or letting dat same person go for their sake..... which would u choose?...... the best choice is.... to never let urself get into dis kind of decision..... avoid it from happening 2 u.... XP